do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
