I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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