I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This is the high leading the old right now
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Randomize
