oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
