Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
