worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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