i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Randomize
