whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
