I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
