O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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