Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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