Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
