what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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