and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
