he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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