i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
