I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
