My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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