just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
be right there i have to get my cape
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
