I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
