Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
