The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
