The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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