I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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