She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
