Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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