The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
