we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
