I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
