So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize