babies were throwing up all over the place
handjob tips. give me some.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
