come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
