Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
