What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
