fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Green mimosas i think yes
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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