her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
