I accidentally burped into my bong.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
