just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
