ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
