hotel room ftw
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
