And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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