So drunk its hurt
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
