The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
