i barfeds in our rink
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
