sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize