dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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