can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
