I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The adults are the big ones right?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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