Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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