The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I don't think brook has ever known best
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
