What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize