oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Randomize
