What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
