That's intense
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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