Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
