I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
