I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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