So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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