I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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