i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
