idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
