she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
