it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
