**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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