at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize